Good v Evil or Some Assembly Required
by Stretch Snodgrass
Summary: Evelyn Weir decides it's a perfect time to discuss good versus evil with Ethan and Benny. Not just the brief but true statement she had given the boys before, but a far more detailed explanation of the pure malevolence of the bloodsucker's curse. Evelyn explains how evil overstepping its bounds helped lead to the gang's massive victory. Happens after "Ethan to the Future".
1. Some Assembly Required

It was almost two years ago that Ethan, Benny and Sarah had wrecked Jesse's plan to bring back his un-dead "flock" of evil vampires. Yet there was something about that night that Ethan brooded on from time to time. Benny's grandmother, Evelyn Weir, had, back then, reassured the heroes that "good was more powerful than evil." What did that _really_ mean?

Was it just boilerplate, a nice thing to say but meaningless so far as Ethan's _personal_ battles against the _dark side_ went? Did it mean that good, aka Ethan, would always win no-matter-what? That would be awesome. However, given the casualties good suffered on that first go-round versus Jesse, it wasn't likely. Or what happened that second time either.

Was it something like _home ice advantage_ , something a hockey fan like Ethan appreciated. Appreciated, but home ice was largely unquantifiable. Maybe it was more like video games? Starting off with extra points, a lower level of difficulty? Maybe extra lives even?

Ethan grinned. Extra lives. That would explain how the fallout from the lucifractor's detonation, the dark energy drain, destroyed Sarah, Rory and Erica's un-death and restored their full human lives. Of the trio, only Sarah was initially happy with the cool turn-of-events. Rory, after some sulking, realized it was _way_ better to alive than undead . . . once Ethan and Benny showed him how much being a vampire sucked. And then there was Erica. Well, hopefully she'd smarten up. Eventually.

But it was great to have his girlfriend Sarah, second-to-best friend Rory, and, uh, well, friend of a friend Erica human again. "Team Sabre", as SArah, Benny, Rory and Ethan now called their strike force against supernatural evildoers, was stronger than ever. Thanks to Ethan's increased seer powers, Benny's (slowly) improving magic, and Sarah and (even) Rory's becoming full partners.

Man, it was great to have everyone human again! Good had won over evil. Yeah, but what did good is stronger than evil mean _for_ Ethan, _specifically_.

But why was Ethan thinking about that now? It was a sunny, Wednesday morning in July, and the lucifractor had exploded weeks ago. Maybe it was because old Mrs. Weir was gardening in her back yard, and Ethan was looking out his window? Earlier, she had given a friendly wave to Ethan. Ethan, of course, had waved back. No, it was simpler than that.

Ethan was just procrastinating.

Ever get a very large, sort-of expensive present you didn't really want? And were stuck with? Well, Ethan's uncle, his mother's brother from Hamilton, had Ethan delivered an oversized executive desk. Almost five feet long, and three feet wide. What the frack was Ethan going to do with that?

Well, there wasn't much Ethan could do. Send a email thank-you card to Unc. Have his old, student desk taken upstairs to the attic of the Morgan's Victorian home. And put together the new behemoth, which came assembly required. Right now, all the cut lumber, screws, hinges, wedges, bolts and handles were stacked up all around Ethan's room.

There were a few benefits. More room on the top for Ethan's stuff. And lockable drawers for Ethan's really awesome things. Not really good locks, but it was better than always storing them under his pillow or under his bed. That is, if Ethan ever got the fracking thing together.

It would be different if it were some cool device for gaming or for fighting evil. It would even be different if Ethan were working with anything electronic or wired. But this was so boring! Thirty different steps in which Ethan put together Part A with Part B by way of six half-inch Robertson screws marked Part 35X.

At least Benny had volunteered to help him. Ethan's dad was at work and his mom had took Jane out for the day. Anyway, Ethan would sooner have died than asked his mom and little sister to help him with anything tool related.

But Benny had wasted a hour playing a new video game based on the original _Battlestar Galactica_. Then, once the two finally got the desk out of the box, Benny and Ethan had argued about what type of screwdriver they likely used in the Galactic Republic (if they even used them in _Star Wars_ ). Patriotic Benny had insisted on the Canadian-preferred Robertson while Ethan thinking the Philips more-likely. Only after agreeing to disagree did the two get along to the instruction manual, which recommended that if you had a friend helping you, he get some snacks. _Seriously!_ Benny took the advice to heart, and had been raiding the Morgan refrigerator for the past ten minutes.

"I'd better get started" groaned Ethan, as he looked around his room at what seemed like several hours work.

* * *

 **Author's Note**

This story is the third in a series starting from "The End of the Beginning" (which takes up the moment where "The Date to End All Dates Part II" leaves off) and "Ethan to the Future" (the immediate sequel to "The End of the Beginning").

Thanks to everyone who had read or added these stories to their favourites or follows list. Any and all reviews are greatly appreciated.


	2. Toonie Tans

**Toonie Tans**

Saved by the bell! Ethan's smart phone started ringing; Rory was calling via video chat. Rory was a good friend, a great guy, but he could be a pain.

Any port in a storm.

"Whazzzzzz up" said Rory, who was standing in front of a run-down storefront.

Rory had on what looked like a new shirt. A superman-style crest, but with his initials "RK" on it instead of an "S". Well, _way_ better than Rory's old "RV", Rory Vampire, identity.

"Whazzzzzz up" Ethan replied, by rote. He wasn't as good at it as Benny.

"Three things a bloodsucker can't do, Ethan buddy!" announced Rory happily. "First thing, talking to his friends by video. How am I coming in?"

"Great, Rory" Ethan replied.

"Second thing, eating garlic" Rory continued, stuffing a clove into his mouth and grinning, though his eyes watered a little. "Not to mention the third thing, using my coupon for a _Toonie Tan_ here at _Econospa_. Wait until the babes see the new, tanned Rory. They won't be able to resist me. A full tanning-bed treatment for only two bucks!"

Rory used his phone to show the storefront behind him. Rory gave Ethan the victory sign, but then gulped, having remembered that for two years he'd been using it as a sign for vampire. Rory quickly switched to a thumbs up.

"Tell me how it goes" said Ethan, taking out his own _Toonie Tan_ coupon and showing it to Rory. "This is my chance to show off my tan to Sarah. And shut up Benny's Ethan-burns-like-a-marshmallow line."

"I hear you dude" said Rory. "By the way, this _Toonie Tan_ , you sure there's nothing . . . weird about it?"

Rory had begged Ethan to look into his (immediate) future. Though there were no vampires left in Whitechapel, for the past few weeks Rory was wary of having his life wrecked (again) by some sort of supernatural evil. It was weird (Rory worrying!), but an improvement (Rory thinking!).

"I'm telling you, Rory" said Ethan, recalling his vision "you've got nothing to fear. You'll come out of it perfectly human and even six months from now you'll be saying how it might have been the smartest thing you've done in years."

"That's all I wanted to hear" said Rory, "You sure you don't need help with that desk, Ethan?"

"NO . . . thanks" said Ethan. "Get your tan."

"Over and out" said Rory, giving Ethan a salute and hanging up.

Ethan breathed a sigh of relief. You _never_ ask Rory to help put something together.

Another ring on the phone! This was _way_ more promising than good ol' Rory. Sarah was calling Ethan from her karate lessons. Sarah's call was by way of video chat, which surprised Ethan as Sarah still rarely used it. It must be something big.

Although Sarah had lost her super-strength, and was overjoyed to have done so, she was still interested in fighting on the front lines. Not to mention protecting herself, without the use of Benny and Ethan's magical devices. Karate was the best way to do it, not to mention the most fun.

"Hi Ethan" said Sarah, who Ethan should have realized was obviously _not_ holding her phone herself.

But Ethan was distracted.

"Man" Ethan thought. "Sarah's _hot_ in her karate robe. Or is it a karate-gi?"

"So, how's karate going?" Ethan said aloud, smothering his rather stupid grin and willing his bugged-out eyes back in their sockets. "I mean, it is annoying sort of having to start from the beginning?"

"Karate's way different from . . . kicking butt as a vampire" said Sarah, lowering her voice to a whisper. Sarah continued again in a normal tone, "It takes perseverance, fearlessness, virtue and leadership. It's as much about self-discipline as it is about fighting skills. Something you might _learn_ , Ethan. I mean, you've been drooling so much over my karate-gi you haven't noticed my yellow belt."

It was true. Ethan had been so busy looking at Sarah's figure, he hadn't noticed the new belt.

"That's great" said Ethan earnestly, though he reddened a little at Sarah's teasing. "That's great time, only two lessons? You'll be up to a green belt, even a black belt quick. And in Whitechapel" Ethan said with a shrug, "a black belt's practically required."

"Not if you're a vampire" said Erica, who Ethan now realized had been holding the phone. "Then you're strong enough to break up this whole gym and don't have to bother with this self-discipline crap."

"Pay no attention to Erica" said Sarah, with a wry smile. "She's just upset she's still a white belt. The whole virtue and leadership thing is temporarily eluding her. I also hurt her feelings when I suggested that we go to the _Canada Blood Services_ clinic after class and give blood. Now that we're seventeen and are eligible . . . ."

"I'll never give blood" Erica objected furiously. "I thought you were my BFF. Giving blood? That's the ultimate insult. It's worse than you dating _Ethan_. It'd be worse than me dating _Rory_."

"Just joking Erica" sighed Sarah, giving Ethan a shrug. "After class, we'll go and see how Rory's doing, so you can make fun of his _Toonie Tan_."

"That pasty faced dweeb with a tan?" scoffed Erica. "I'd like to see that."

Without another word, Erica passed the phone to Sarah and walked off.

"She also has one of those tanning coupons" Sarah explained. "I shouldn't tell you this, but apparently her admiration for bloodsucking ways doesn't prevent her from wanting a good tan. And it's tough for her. Erica's a blonde, she burnt easily even before she was a vampire. I think she wants to see how good a job they do with Rory. There's this whole issue about minors and tanning beds. The government wants to ban anyone under eighteen from using them come January."

"I might try getting one of those tans myself" Ethan hinted.

Sarah looked at Ethan contemplatively.

Sarah liked Ethan as he was, and a tan didn't make too much difference to her. It might be _interesting_ , but she doubted she'd care much either way.

"You could try it" Sarah suggested. "But you know, you're okay as it is. Why not sign up for karate? We can take the same classes."

As much as Ethan would have loved to take karate classes with Sarah (even if Sarah _hadn't_ been dressed in the karate-gi), the problem was Ethan sucked at all sports.

"Two points, Sarah" Ethan explained. "My last attempts at sports were a disaster. I won the wrestling trophy against Kurt the Hurt Lockner last year. But only after being tortured by the ghost of a sadistic gym teacher. I was on the hockey team last winter. But _that_ sadistic coach wanted to put my brain into Boltz's body. I would have been spending the rest of my life as some sort of Jockenstein."

"You would have been the #1 NHL draft pick" Sarah joked.

"That sounds like something Benny would say" Ethan replied.

"Point taken" Sarah agreed. "Our _sensei's_ a real gentleman. But I guess you've had nothing but bad luck. But I'll see you this afternoon. I'll stop over and see your new desk. Is a new desk sort of like the nerd lottery?"

"More like a new computer" Ethan joked. "Or the newest iphone. The kind you have to stand-in-line all night to buy."

"Well" laughed Sarah, "you already have the desk. No standing-in-line. How far are you in putting it together?"

"Looking at the instructions" shrugged Ethan, as he used the phone to show Sarah the lumber around him.


	3. When Desks Attack

**When Desks Attack**

No sooner had Ethan and Sarah said their goodbyes, than Ethan was surprised by a rattling on the door to his room. The wooden door, after some more shaking, flew open and slammed against the wall. Floating in, with military precision, arrived a bag of nachos, a bowl of hot salsa, four or five cans of root beer, and a bag of regular chips. Here was the reason Benny had taken so long! In floated half of the frozen pizza Benny had just warmed up in the Morgan oven.

" _Ah, Frack_!" Ethan swore, as he helplessly watched the food float over and fall onto his bed. Benny had thoughtfully included some paper plates. Those uselessly fell atop the food.

Okay, Benny's magic could be awesome. But Benny had been using it for _everything_ lately. And it definitely wasn't fun when Ethan was going to have to sleep in a bed full of nachos, pizza and salsa.

"Ethan, buddy" Benny bragged, as he entered eating a slice of pizza. "Did you see my . . . uh, I can fix this!"

"Yeah?" said Ethan.

"I'm getting very good at this sort of floating" Benny explained, as he stuffed the rest of the pizza in his mouth and gulped it down. "When you float this stuff properly . . . ."

"What would you know about floating it properly?" scoffed Ethan.

"When you float the food properly, you float every crumb and drop" Benny explained angrily. "All I need to do is float the stuff again and it'll be off your sheets."

Benny's spell actually worked, _this time_. The spilt food went back to its source. The crumbs attached themselves to the pizza and the nachos. The drippings from the salsa poured upwards back into the bowl. After some random floating around, the food fell on top of the paper plates, to Ethan's immense relief. And to Benny's relief too, judging by his surprised grin.

A half an hour later, the boys had made the food disappear . . . yet not one Robertson screw had been secured into a compressed wood part.

"You don't really want to work on this, do you Ethan?" Benny observed lazily. "You're usually right on schedule."

"I want it to be done, but I don't really want to put it together" Ethan admitted. "But I guess we'd better get this over with."

"Or we could finish right now" Benny suggested, "and play _When Cylons Attack_ for the rest of the day."

Yesterday, Benny had snuck into the room where his grandmother usually brewed her potions. In addition to the potion ingredients, that was the place where Evelyn Weir stored her magic books and even a box full of spell cards and recipes. The spell cards! Benny thought that his grandmother should have long gone digital, but in a few ways she was stubbornly old fashioned.

Those spell cards, however, were the coolest. Unlike Benny's magic book, which was awesome but useful only for fighting bad guys . . . the recipe cards featured magical solutions to everyday problems. Everything from chimney cleaning to broken bedsprings to tv repairs to a dead car battery. A guy never had to work with those time-savers available.

Some spells were written in Evelyn Weir's neat handwriting, others were obviously inherited spells from prior spellmasters in the family. Talk about family heirlooms! Benny had no idea why his grandmother didn't use them instead of always working about the house. But she didn't, only in emergencies did she ever look through those cards.

It was among those recipe cards that Benny found and pocketed a spell to "Assemble Furniture Without Instructions".

As Benny expected, Ethan wasn't really happy about the idea. Benny's best friend didn't want to use magic to put something together he felt should be done by hand. Ethan didn't trust Benny's magic! That always made Benny angry . . . even if his friends were all too often right!

"Dude!" Benny objected, "You just saw me put a pizza back together and pour salsa off your bed!"

"After putting it there in the first place!" Ethan pointed out.

"What can go wrong?" Benny asked. "If the desk doesn't go together, we'll just do it the normal way."

"What if it goes together wrong?" Ethan asked.

"This is my grandma's handwriting" Benny said, as he showed Ethan the card. "Even if you don't trust your best friend, you've got to trust my grandmother's own handwritten spell?"

Ethan _really_ didn't want to spend the rest of day assembling that desk.

"Okay" Ethan conceded. "But it had better work right."

It was not only a Weir spell but a weird spell too. Ethan had never seen Benny try anything like it. Ethan watched incredulously as Benny read the card, stood on his left foot and stuck his fingers into his eyes as if he were one of T _he Three Stooges_. Then Benny put his thumbs in his ears and stuck out his tongue. Finally, Benny read the card backwards and blinked ten times.

"Isn't that easier than spending all day with this junk?" asked Benny.

"It would, if something had happened" observed Ethan, as he looked around at the desk parts, which were still lying uselessly on the floor.

"Maybe if I . . . ." started Benny, looking over the instructions again.

That was as far as Benny got. At once the desk parts went flying up into the air. They floated up towards the ceiling, revolving around faster and faster in a circle until they began to pull the air up out of the room. Where the air was disappearing, neither Ethan nor Benny knew, but if the window hadn't been open there would have been a powerful vacuum as the pressure dropped.

"Man, am I ever powerful" Benny said in the noise.

Benny said it sheepishly, and half-jokingly, but Ethan took it seriously. Ethan gave Benny his shooting-imaginary-lasers-out-of-my-eyes look.

Lucky for Benny, Ethan remembered his mint condition toy robots and rushed over to his storage cabinet to protect them.

Things got worse. All of sudden, the desk's side-panel 2B flew down and seemed to try to attack Benny and Ethan. Benny ducked under the bed, pulling out Ethan's tanning-bed light sabre to try and protect himself. But light sabre's aren't that useful against compressed wood, and it was knocked out of his hand.

"Jedi's don't use other Jedi's sabres" Ethan objected.

Ethan was still bravely protecting his toy robots, and dodging Desktop Part A which had joined in the attack.

In a moment, all parts of the desk, Robertson screws included, started swooping down at the duo.

Benny realized he had to do something. Something by memory. But Benny was too busy panicking! He had to concentrate. His tripping spell? His bouquet of flowers for a hot girl? _What_? He could think better than that. Pulling something out of thin air? Worms in your ear? Lightning? Exploding fire balls. Hypnotism. Wait, the protective glass spell! The one he had practiced a few weeks ago.

"Glass'm indelible indestructible" gasped Benny. "Benny and also Ethan."

It worked. Sort of. But Benny figured it was definitely not his coolest moment as a spellmaster. Benny found himself trapped inside a type of opaque glass box that shuddered and cracked every time some lumber hit it. After a few minutes of this onslaught, the glass box crumbled into sand and disappeared.

"Are you okay, Ethan?" asked Benny.

"Yeah, Benny" shouted Ethan, as his own box crumbled around him. "I think that the lumber's not actually trying to hurt us. Just scare us."

That made sense, Benny realized. But why would it want to do that?

The wood returned to the ceiling, and now, piece by piece exploded into a fireworks display consisting largely of sawdust. Largely, but not entirely. The Robertson screws; the hinges, handles and bolts; did burst into actual sparks.

Finally, the entire desk disappeared. Including the sawdust that had floated to the floor.

Benny and Ethan looked at one another.

"That wasn't so bad" Benny said, in a tone of faked cheerfulness. "I mean, it's just like you said. The desk obviously wasn't trying to kill us. Just . . . scare us? I . . . can get you another desk?"

Ethan threw at Benny every _Star Wars_ , _Star Trek_ and _Battlestar Galactica_ curse or insult he could imagine.


	4. Lessons, Lessons

**Lessons, Lessons**

Benny's grandmother, Evelyn Weir, was gardening. And enjoying herself, as she did with most of her activities. Whether it was using her tanning bed to hold a nice suntan, playing bingo, making lemonade, driving her vintage Ford, or even just spending time with her grandson and his friends. Or using her magic for the good of Whitechapel and humankind in general.

It was a warm morning, but not yet too hot to weaken Evelyn's bright spirits. There had been much to enjoy in the past six weeks, since the lucifractor exploded. The new state of affairs was a good deal better than the old _status quo_. In fact, Evelyn had long secretly held a deep seated feeling that the old situation _wouldn't last forever_. A good thing too, because in a few significant ways it was a depressing state of affairs; depressing in ways that neither Benny nor Ethan had ever fully realized.

 _But why had Evelyn felt things were going to change for the better?_ Even Ethan hadn't been able to see the eventual outcome, and he was a seer. Well that was easily explained! Ethan's abilities were still developing. Furthermore, it was obviously best Ethan didn't know things too far in advance.

But why had Evelyn's intuition hinted to her that the _status quo_ of two years (well, with Sarah, the situation in the last year) wouldn't hold? Why had Evelyn just felt things would get much better? Was it her optimistic nature? Just a "quieter" version of her grandson Benny's eagerness?

No, Evelyn had realized. It was a lifetime of knowledge and experience. It was her knowing the invaluable fact that good is more powerful that evil. The forces of evil had _far_ overstepped their bounds. And paid the price. Benny, Ethan and Sarah had paid the crucial role. But the forces of good were quietly behind them.

Evelyn had never known a girl like Sarah to have been put under the bloodsucker's curse. She had never known a girl to so consistently fight for good while under the curse. Or, in fact, fight for good at all. And it was unheard of how Sarah was _coerced_ into becoming a full vampire. That, in and of itself, was what might have done it.

Heaven would forfend anyone could permanently succumb to the vampire's curse in _saving_ a life. It was a deep subject, but to Evelyn it was as clear as day that in destroying the lucifractor, Benny, Ethan and Sarah weren't aided by mere good fortune. And now that Evelyn herself understood what had happened, it was probably best that she soon pass it on to her "Padawan" . . . as Benny sometimes half-jokingly described himself. A Jedi apprentice!

Having pulled out the last dandelion from her back yard, having clipped the last rose for her vase, and having picked up several slugs for a potion she needed to mix, Evelyn went inside. She made a quick trip to wash her hands, and then went to the kitchen to make some of her famous lemonade. Evelyn expected to see Benny and Ethan soon. That is, if her plan worked. As it surely would.

Evelyn opened the window. Across the yard she had a view of Ethan's second-story window. With her hearing aid, she could hear Ethan and Benny arguing about something upstairs. She could also hear Ethan's favourite swearword, _frack_.

Benny usually went with the _Battlestar Galactica's_ frack as well, except in extremes. Like diving into a thornbush. Or being bitten by a cat he had hypnotized into barking like a dog.

Evelyn had only told Benny that he was a spellmaster a couple years ago. Not only a spellmaster, but one with the potential to be extremely powerful. Mostly, she had long kept that knowledge to herself to avoid worrying him. But there was another reason. The last thing Evelyn wanted was a magical couch potato (or was it now a computer potato?). She didn't want Benny to neglect his other talents. Although Benny could be lazy, and a goof off, Evelyn had never had reason to be disappointed in her grandson's _natural_ talents or intellect.

In fact, Benny's interests lay so much to math, science and science fiction, Evelyn wondered how that knowledge would affect him. Still, she had felt that Benny would approach magic with gusto. From what she knew of Benny and Ethan's initial encounters with the supernatural, Benny had started as the skeptic. It was hard to believe now! Soon, her eager grandson was jumping into trying out his magic. For causes both good and selfish.

Well, he was still a kid! And he was slowly learning. Benny had just asked Evelyn last week about brewing up a temporary strength potion. The fact Benny asked her advice first was a real improvement. With Sarah, Rory and even Erica cured, there was no longer any bloodsucker or bloodsucker's super strength available to the team. The groups' tangle with an abominable snowman made Benny worry.

"We've always relied on Sarah to back up my awesome spellmaster magic and Ethan's seeing and planning . . . ."

"Back up?" Evelyn had questioned.

"Well, do a lot of the heavy lifting! It's cool Sarah, Rory and Erica aren't bloodsuckers, but what're we gonna do for strength to kick some paranormal butt?"

"The strength spell on page 132 works much the same way as that love potion you brewed up behind my back" Evelyn had said, dryly. "Only far worse, in its own way. That spell will give you a half an hour of super strength. But you'll have to pay for it. Thirty minutes of enormous strength, another thirty minutes of normal strength, and then thirty _hours_ of being too weak to stand up. _Maybe_ in an emergency you might want to have it, but I don't think your friends will like being bedridden for thirty hours."

"Well, a nap, a little t.v., some computer games" shrugged Benny. "It doesn't sound too bad."

"I mean" corrected Evelyn, "thirty hours of panting for breath, your head too heavy too lift from your pillow. And we're not talking about a little t.v. and a little nap, we're talking about your friends needing a bedpan. That's all weak they'll be."

"Just asking" muttered Benny.

"I'm glad you did, dear" Evelyn replied, gently.

Evelyn harboured the suspicion that Benny was prompted to ask because of the mouthful he'd get from his friends if they used another of his backfiring spells. But the fact remained, Benny had asked. Too bad he didn't always ask _before_ he used a new spell.

A more serious problem was that Benny was beginning to be over-reliant on his magic. It was easy for a boy Benny's age to want to do _everything_ with magic. Benny could now reliably use his magic skills to get snacks from the cupboard without leaving the sofa. That was how these things started. First floating instead of carrying things, later Benny would stop doing anything for himself.

Even Benny's favourite activities were slowly starting to fall by the wayside. Evelyn had seen Benny try to magic some electronic cables together instead of using either his hands or his tools. Just a few days ago, Evelyn had seen Benny trying to debug Rory's laptop with sorcery.

Evelyn needed to nip this in the bud. The little demonstration she had planned today would give Benny pause to think. Not to mention the earful Ethan would give Benny after that little debacle. And of course, when the boys came over, Evelyn would be sure to warn Benny about keeping a natural-supernatural balance.

It was also a perfect time to discuss good versus evil with the boys. Not just the brief but true statement she had given the boys before. But a far more detailed explanation of the pure malevolence of the bloodsucker's curse. And its limits.

It was an explanation that was best given to Ethan and Benny, alone. If Sarah was along, Evelyn was sure she'd only embarrass her with gushing praise. No, with Sarah it would need to be a separate women-to-women chat. As for Rory, he'd be absolutely horrified. It was enough for Rory to realize that, for almost two years, he had unwittingly been an evil, leach-like, un-dead _and_ unnatural creature of the night. _That_ knowledge had been enough for Rory to turn his back on "Team V" forever.

"Team V?" Evelyn said contemptuously. "Team Bloodsucker is more to the point."

Then there was Erica. Sadly, she wasn't yet ready to so much as hear what Evelyn might tell her. Well, there was time and there was hope.

A series of veritable explosions from Ethan's next-door window shook Evelyn from her thoughts. A volley of "fracks" and a very loud "BENNY!" from Ethan gave her a wry smile.

"The boys should be here in about fifteen minutes" Benny's grandmother observed. "That's enough time for me to finish the lemonade and take some cookies out on the back porch."


	5. Balance

Balance

Benny was usually subdued when he browbeaten by his grandmother for some sort of magical infraction. But, for once, he felt pretty angry. In fact, for a while, he quietly fumed.

Quietly fuming wasn't Benny's usual way. But his grandmother was someone Benny loved and respected. Aside from that, Benny figured it _wasn't a good idea_ to make his grandmother too angry with him.

But imagine her setting him up for a fall like that! The fake spell she seeded for him to find! The eye-poking, thumbs-in-ears, standing-on-one-foot! Benny hated looking like a fool in front of his friends, and he hated cracks at the expense of his awesome spellmaster powers. Why the heck did she do it?

Well, to get his best friend to chew him out and haul him over to his grandmother about replacing the desk, for one thing. For the other, to emphasize to Benny the importance of letting magic be _part_ of his life, but not his _entire_ life. And, in fact, Evelyn Weir emphasized the point so passionately, with such emotion, Benny was soon won over to her point of view.

Benny's grandmother wouldn't be half as cool as she was if she spent the day sleeping in her favourite armchair, leisurely spouting incantations and doing little with her own two hands. Benny doubted his grandmother would get one quarter the joy out of her gardening, bowling, tanning or other activities if she did it the _easy_ way.

Yeah, his grandmother was right about Benny overusing his magic too. Magic was cool and exciting, but Benny had always been a "wizard" at math. At electronics he wasn't Ethan, but he was awesome in his own right. Benny didn't want to lose that. The _last thing_ Benny wanted in his life was to be a stumbling idiot who couldn't do anything without magic. Benny didn't want to helplessly sit on the sofa muttering spells. Maybe someday having the local kids in the neighbourhood talking about that weird old guy who lived in that house, without a job and never seeming to do anything!

Benny wanted to drive a car (just like he drove that racer Evil Benny had rented that one day!) maybe a motorcycle, go to university, and of course, meet babes. And really, using magic _all the time_ wasn't a good way to get any of that done. Not to mention really messing with Benny's other hobbies and interests. Who the frack did math _magically_ anyway?

But why did his grandmother have to embarrass him in front of his best friend? Benny looked at Ethan, who was obviously getting the picture his grandmother's was painting. _Yeah, Ethan's seer powers! Okay, this lecture's also for Ethan's benefit._ There would come a time, Benny guessed, when Ethan would have such a stranglehold on his powers, that he could see anything in advance. That's how powerful the guy was. Getting up in the morning, Ethan might be able to predict what he'd be doing until he went to sleep at night. It would be cool for predicting pop quizzes and stuff like that (and useful for meeting babes!), but it would eventually make life really boring. Well, how boring it was depended on how useful a seer power was for predicting chicks' reactions, and how far that got you.

Benny figured his grandmother _just_ wanted to _emphasise_ supernatural-natural balance to his more practical pal. Ethan _really_ prized living a mostly "normal" life. The only time Ethan ever _actually_ misused his powers was a few weeks ago, when Benny helped Ethan recall a haywire vision stretching decades into the future. Fortunately, Evelyn Weir had intervened to erase that unwelcome foreknowledge from Benny, Ethan and Rory's minds.

"Okay" Benny said humbly. "I get it, Grandma. Supernatural-natural life balance. Right dude?"

Benny gave Ethan a high-five.

"Point taken" Ethan agreed. "I understand what you mean, Mrs. Weir. But, uh, about my desk?"

"Remember, Ethan" Evelyn said kindly, "I'm not a witch; I don't use magic for evil purposes. I wouldn't get you into trouble with your parents or destroy your things. Your desk is fine, it was merely pulled apart and up to your attic. And the pieces have been rebuilt, box and all. I'm afraid you'll still have to assemble it, not to mention carry it downstairs, but you boys'll appreciate the effort more in the long run.

"Thanks" said Ethan, with a sigh. "I guess it's back to the desk."

"How about tomorrow?" suggested Benny.

"I don't know about tomorrow, boys" Evelyn suggested, as she poured herself another glass of lemonade. "But I would like you to wait a while. I'd like to discuss _something else_."

"What?" said Benny, with a groan. _What else had he done wrong?_

"Nearly two years ago" began Evelyn, with a slight smile at Benny's thinking he was _still_ in trouble, "I first told you that good was stronger than evil. These past two years may, in some ways, have been the most difficult and perilous of your young lives. Certainly, it was for Sarah and even Rory . . . whatever he may have thought at the time. I _never_ want you boys to underestimate what you've done. But, I think it's about time you knew how much being on the side of the angels helped carry you through. And I'd like to discuss this with you two alone, and mention it separately to the others in good time."

Evelyn and Benny were surprised to hear Ethan groan.

"I saw this coming" Ethan said, slumping in the lawn chair he was sitting on. "So much for natural-supernatural life balance. I was looking out the window and thinking about it just this morning."

"Maybe it was your seer power" said Evelyn consolingly. "What I'm telling you is very important. But it _could_ have been coincidence. Don't worry, Ethan. One way or another you'll get a better handle on your gift in time."

"You know" Benny observed, as he helped himself to some cookies (over half a pizza and the nachos not phasing him), "this is the kind of secret, esoteric knowledge that should be discussed on a dark and stormy night . . . .

"A dark and stormy night?" Ethan said, recovering enough to be entertained by his friend's phrase. "Really, Benny?"

"A dark and stormy night!" Benny repeated, irritably. "With a dank mist without, us three secreted in a decaying mansion, amongst creaking floorboards and by the light of candlelight, only _there_ should this secret knowledge be passed from one generation to the next."

"You sound like Erica" Ethan scoffed.

It sounded like Erica, or at the very least the ringside introduction Benny had given the "Ethanator" before his wrestling match against Kurt the Hurt Lochner.

"No, boys" said Evelyn, who enjoyed her grandson's enthusiasm. "This is the type of thing to discuss by the light of a summer's day, as we consider how fortunate we are in your victory over the bloodsuckers. Because that's another matter I want to discuss with you."

"Bloodsuckers?" said Ethan, now genuinely surprised. "If there's anything we know about it's vampires."

Evelyn shook her head.

"I didn't tell you everything, Ethan" she said.

"Grandma didn't even discuss them that much with me" Benny observed. "And I'm her Padawan.

"No" Evelyn said. "As long as your friends were under the bloodsucker's curse, I found it too sad to mention. I _felt_ things would eventually improve, and they did beyond our wildest dreams. And now, good having won over evil, and having given it a great deal of thought, it's time to tell you _everything_."

Benny and Ethan looked at the old lady.

"The first thing to know" said Evelyn, taking a cookie, "is that of all curses, the bloodsucking curse is the most vile, evil and hardest to cure. My dears, the curse began _diabolically_.


	6. The Curse of the Bloodsuckers

**The Curse of the Bloodsuckers**

For several moments, there was no sound save for that of the summer grasshoppers and those of the birds chirping in the nearby trees.

Finally, Ethan asked, "Do you mean that _literally_?"

"When Grandma says diabolically, she means Count Iblis himself" said Benny, albeit in a subdued tone. "I mean, Grandma, that's the name the devil goes by in the original _Battlestar Galactica_."

Ethan didn't know why he felt a chill on that warm July morning. He had long known how _evil_ the vampire's curse was; he knew holy objects were deadly to bloodsuckers. Shortly after meeting Sarah, Ethan had even read _Dracula_ . . . although it was as far removed from science fiction as you could get.

Ethan supposed this just put an exclamation mark on what he already knew.

"Bloodsuckers usually live on blood, and human blood at that. Blood and dark energy. That's as evil a way to sustain life as you may imagine" Evelyn reviewed. "And of course, boys, I mean the _consumption_ of human blood, the drinking of blood. Don't get the idea there's anything wrong with a blood _transfusion_ , that's a boon of modern medical science and almost as good as bloodsucking is wicked.

"Don't worry, we weren't getting the two mixed up" Ethan said emphatically, remembering his effort to protect the blood in what turned out to be a fraudulent, vampire-run blood drive.

"It is a virulent curse" continued Evelyn. "If a bloodsucker bites their victim, but doesn't drain them, the victim becomes a fledgeling, their soul already partially blocked from the light and their reflection half-erased. When a fledgeling commits the evil of drinking human blood for the first time, the curse is complete. And a soul being completely "blocked from the light" has f _ar more consequences_ than a vampire not having a reflection or photographing. But even in its initial malevolent design, there was a free choice _not_ to drink human blood and suffering the full curse . . . ."

Benny and Ethan both lost their tempers at that.

"Some choice!" spat Ethan, standing up. "Drinking human blood or _dying_. And all the time you're a fledgeling dying of hunger, you're drooling for blood! I saw how Sarah struggled with it!"

"One bite!" snarled Benny, also jumping to his feet. "One bite to ruin your life for all time! And then some! That's unfair!"

"I didn't say it was fair" said Evelyn, putting up her hands to calm the two down. "That's how it was _almost certainly meant_ to work. But there's an important point as to why it usually doesn't work that way. Remember, good is more powerful than evil."

After Ethan and Benny had sat down, Evelyn continued. "Do you two remember what Anastasia was telling Jesse just before they both . . . ."

"Oozed" Benny observed, looking nauseous . . . and not from all the food he'd eaten. "Little Miss Fang-fang? Oh, something about who was running things in Whitechapel, Jesse being an upstart, having no respect for tradition . . . ."

"That's it" said the old woman. "No respect for bloodsucking tradition. Has it ever surprised you that I've had contempt for _all_ the bloodsuckers except for your friends . . . when they were under the curse that is? Have you never wondered _why_ Sarah and Rory were the only ones that weren't evil . . . or in Erica's case, entirely evil?"

That was a question Ethan couldn't answer, or Benny either. They wracked their brains.

Jesse? His friends? Obviously evil. Vampire council? Just because you called yourself a "council" didn't make you any less evil! Anastasia had wanted to kill Ethan at least twice, and Sarah at least once. _And_ Ethan hated the fact that Rory and Erica had been forced to be Anastasia's flunkeys. The vampires at that bloodsucking restaurant? Evil. Those hot un-dead nurses? They had wanted to kill Erica and Rory for stealing some of their blood. One of them, at least, was more _practical_ than evil. But you could be both evil _and_ practical.

"It doesn't make sense!" Benny realized. "There should have been lots of Sarahs around, even Rorys. A lot of vampires should be angry about being turned. And there should have been some guys who were duped into thinking they were just getting some type of superpower."

"And there should be a lot more of them" Ethan observed. "They should be everywhere. But, as far as we know, Whitechapel was the only place in Canada overrun by the un-dead."

"It _was_ the only place in Canada" Evelyn said. "But here's why bloodsuckers are rare and almost always evil. Vampire tradition holds that _only people who want to be vampires get turned into vampires_. You don't have your Sarahs being made into a fledgelings! You don't even have a boy like Rory being turned into a vampire. You get someone who is so hurting, vengeful, or downright brokenhearted they'd be willing to give up their humanity for power, glamour and immortality."

"Erica" said Ethan and Benny at once.

"Mostly" Evelyn allowed. "But you see, it's very dangerous for bloodsuckers to create _good_ vampires. You know people can, of course, be corrupted for evil."

"Vice Principal Stern" Ethan said. "I mean, he wanted to get rid of the vampires. That's good, I guess. But the way he went about it was evil."

"I mean, I hate the guy" said Benny. "After what he did to us. But, you know, maybe he ought to get a statue? Given what he did with the dark energy drain, even if it was by accident?"

"He doesn't deserved a statue" Ethan said. "The thing was, he put spells on us to get us out of his way. He even tried to kill us a couple of times. He put you into a coma, Mrs. Weir . . . and had me seeing everybody around me as rotting zombies.

"Not to mention stealing the _awesome magic stuff_ we put together" Benny added.

"Stern was also willing to kill good vampires" Ethan continued, "like Sarah, Rory and Erica without hesitation. Not to mention he was more interested in ruling Whitechapel than getting rid of evildoers . . . maybe as some sort of spellmaster mayor?"

"That's how what _might_ have been good intentions became corrupted by selfish or evil motives" Evelyn replied. "Something you two will _always_ have to watch out for in your own lives, given your powers. But, here's the important point, boys! What happens when evil powers are used for good?"

"Kicks evil where it hurts" Benny observed wryly.

"More or less" Benny's grandmother agreed. "As good is more powerful than evil, evil can't _permanently_ contain a good person in a curse as evil as that of the bloodsucker's. Not unless they are truly willing to submit to the curse, eyes wide open. Something _will_ happen sooner or later."

Evelyn picked up the pitcher of lemonade.

"Now imagine this lemonade was frozen into a block" she said. "What if I were to pour hot water in the middle? First, the middle will hollow out and melt. Eventually, the sides will start to crack, and the ice will fall apart into pieces. Like your yeti last month. _That's_ what happens when someone like Sarah . . . brave, kind, smart and _incorruptible_ . . . ."

" _And a heart that's pure_ " Ethan said to himself.

". . . . is contained by the curse" finished Evelyn.

"So the curse would have broken on its own . . . eventually?" asked Benny.

"No" said Evelyn sadly. "When I say that the curse will fall apart, I mean that some sort of disaster . . . well, for us, a blessing . . . would fall on the bloodsuckers for overstepping their bounds. Good will fight back . . . and of course you two and Sarah were the invaluable agents in that fight. Evil will cut its losses and fall back. If there's one thing dark forces can't stand, it's their own power being used to frustrate their own vile schemes. Consider what the reaction must have been down below when Sarah, Rory and Erica used their vampire powers to save Jane and her friends from being pulled to blazes!"

Benny and Ethan gave one another a high five.

"Okay" said Ethan, carefully considering the matter. "So, the question is, why did Jesse do it? He ought to have known . . . ."

"Buddy!" Benny exclaimed. "The guy's head was as fat as a blimp. He figured that he'd bite now and brainwash later. That's why he was so desperate to get Sarah back. He needed her evil."

"That's not the reason he wanted Sarah back!" Ethan sneered. "She was just another notch in his belt."

"Boys, calm down" said Evelyn. "The man was destroyed by his own misdeeds. I believe you're _both_ right about Jesse's thinking. But I the main point is, as Anastasia said, Jesse had no respect or understanding for bloodsucking tradition. He thought he could play by the rules of vampirism, as first set by . . . Count Iblis . . . without taking into mind the consequences of crossing the forces of good. Heaven forbade the curse being taken that far."

"He was only banished by Anastasia _after_ he bit me" Ethan said contemplatively. "He bit me so Sarah would suck out the poison and save me from becoming a vampire. He made her a full vampire . . . by Sarah being a hero."

"He made her a vampire through her act of generosity, self-sacrifice and heroism" said Evelyn severely. "Drinking human blood is usually an act of extreme evil, but Jesse assumed sucking blood is sucking blood."

"The letter of the law but not the spirit" Benny said scornfully, "Magically speaking, that it."

"It was that, more than anything else, that would have doomed any hold the bloodsuckers' had of our city" Evelyn said. "You can't seal an evil curse, especially _that_ curse, with an act of good. Even if Sarah hadn't made the sacrifice, the presence of an evil-fighting fledgling was dangerous in and of itself. If you, Ethan, had become one too, that would have been twice as much trouble. Not to mention Erica, still being positively influenced by Sarah. And your friend the "Ror-ster", foolishly thinking himself the same boy he always was, but also the newest super-hero on the block as well.

Anastasia must have realized how reckless Jesse was being. She knew Jesse was no smarter or less vain than he had been as Reverend Black. Anastasia knew how dangerous that was for their survival. That explains why she tried to kill Sarah over a feeble excuse like feeding on the dead."

"Why didn't she just order Sarah killed?" Ethan asked.

" _Bloodsucker politics?_ " Benny guessed. "Little Miss Fang-fang needed a excuse for you as well. Not that it mattered if it were true or not. Even when you showed her it was impossible you were killing all those vampires, Miss Fang-fang still wanted you killed. That is, until we saved her sorry little un-dead butt."

"I believe you're right, Benny" said Evelyn. "It went with her attitude. Given her building, her demeanor, her _age_ , it was Anastasia's style to set herself out as a vampire queen following _some_ conventions. But even Anastasia, being long evil herself, couldn't fully comprehend the power of good. Anastasia didn't realize the tidal wave about to bear down on her."

"Dark-energy destroying tidal wave!" Benny gloated.

"So . . . because evil overstepped its bounds we were bound to win in the end?" Ethan asked. "Everything over the past two years . . . or at least the last year . . . was leading up to Sarah being cured?"

"No" said Evelyn. "Sarah couldn't stay on as a good vampire fighting evil. That was impossible. But it was _probably_ going to end up with Sarah being released from the curse. You see, boys, if you're on the side of the angels fighting the evil, well, boys, it's as if you had _home ice_.

" _Home ice! So that's what it means!_ " Ethan thought. " _It's good to know._ "


	7. And the Rest

**And the Rest**

"Okay" Benny said. "But what about Erica and Rory. Shouldn't Anastasia have wanted them dead too? This no-good-vampire-thing?

"There's more than one way to get rid of a good vampire" said Evelyn. "And evil prefers _elimination_ , or even better, _corruption_. Remember, Sarah was virtually incorruptible, her _worst fear_ was becoming like the other vampires. Anastasia must have realized she could twist your other two friends when and as she felt like it."

"Evil Erica, okay I get it" sighed Benny.

"If it wasn't for Sarah and that whole BFF thing, she'd already be there" Ethan said glumly. "In fact, at the _Dusk_ premier, she was there!

"But Evil Rory?" Benny said. " _Really_? And why would Anastasia bother?"

"It must get boring sitting in a darkened room playing evil vampire overlord" shrugged Ethan.

"Little Miss Fang-fang must've needed a hobby very badly" Benny said.

"For the sake of being evil" Evelyn said. "And she had two major allies when Rory was under the bloodsucker's curse; time and his hunger for blood."

"And the fact Rory's insane" observed Benny. "In a good way, but yeah."

"Let's just say your friend's over-enthusiastic and more than a little gullible" said Evelyn kindly. "But it's true, the "Ror-ster's" always been the tweedle-dum of your group.

The old woman went on to point out, that had he remained stuck as a fourteen-year-old vampire, any dimension of a normal life Rory enjoyed would have ended the far side of university. _Maybe_ Rory could hold out as a suspiciously young looking student when he entered, but by the end he'd be still a teenager while Benny and Ethan were adults. It would be increasingly difficult for Rory, Benny and Ethan to remain friends. Eventually, the only way to keep Rory out of trouble would be to hand-down responsibility for Rory as a sort of un-dead Morgan or Weir family heirloom.

"Harsh!" Benny exclaimed.

"That isn't the harshest part" Evelyn said gravely.

With Sarah out of the picture, Rory would only have the company of evil vampires. Just as Rory had once been unwittingly un-dead and under Jesse's thumb, so Rory'd be influenced by the only "people" he could call friends. Soon Rory would be encouraged to attack people for their blood. It was only a matter of time before he was entirely corrupted. And better for everybody when Rory was finally killed off entirely, whether it was merely decades or even centuries into the future.

"And then boys" continued Evelyn, "Rory and Erica's souls would go deep down where the souls of all the other unrepentant mass murderers go, whether they're natural or supernatural. Vampires' souls don't stay forever in sort of holding pattern, that was a lie Jesse told Sarah; Sarah just unsuspectingly passed it on to you. Eventually, they're forced to move on to their _final destination_."

"Man" winced Ethan.

"Ouch" said Benny.

"If that had ever come to pass" said the old lady, "your one consolation would be that there would have been nothing left of the Rory we know; nor anything left of the Erica Sarah knew before she was turned. Just as the little girl Anastasia was _centuries ago_ had long disappeared under the influence of the bloodsucker's course."

Ethan wondered if that was what would _really_ have happened to Rory and Erica. Probably? Yes, but not definitely. There was no way to know for sure. And what _would_ have happened to Sarah if she had died as a vampire? Ethan was sure his seer power _didn't_ allow him to see what were now alternate realities that now had no way of happening. Ethan realized that even if he could see it, he sure the frack didn't want to look! It was enough to know that wasn't the way things turned out.

Ethan violently shuddered. What was it? Although Mrs. Weir was outwardly composed as ever, Ethan sensed she had been very unhappy just thinking about what might have been.

"Consider how this looked to an a old lady" said Evelyn, smiling knowingly at Ethan, "who has seen many of the sorrows brought on by the bloodsuckers over the years. Now see how the fate of your friends looked _through my eyes_. An intelligent, imaginative girl like Erica, bullied and hurt by years of frustration . . . twisted into an un-dead parasite. Your friend Rory, ever-eager and excitable, who I watched growing up beside you. And Sarah, a girl so kind, full of life, with such a future before her? All three set up for a fate worse than death, as cliche as it must sound to you. How _grateful_ I am, that, in the end, good is more powerful than evil. And how someone as old as I am can be still be pleasantly surprised!"

Benny, in a deft move on his part, decided to fill the glasses with more lemonade. Benny thought the occasion called for raiding his dad's liquor cabinet, but not only would his grandmother not approve . . . she had long since magically locked it in case he ever had that idea.  
"This calls for a toast" said Benny, handing his grandmother a glass.

"To the devamped Team Sabre" said Ethan. "To the fact we'll never be bloodsuckers . . . and Sarah and Rory will never be bloodsuckers again."

"Cheers" said Evelyn smiling.

"L'chaim" said Benny, gulping down his lemonade in one shot.


	8. The Truth About Toonie Tans

**The Truth About Toonie Tans**

Ethan's favourite activity these days was _canoodling_ with Sarah. A few years ago, Ethan would have laughed off the idea of there being anything being better than watching the re-imagined _Battlestar Galactica_ (the original version was okay, but it was Benny's favourite not his), a new _Star Trek_ series, or even a new _Star Wars_ blockbuster. But, yeah, canoodling was way better.

Hearing Benny's grandmother's secret knowledge about good and evil, and the bloodsucking kind, made Ethan extra-eager to rush up to Sarah, wrap her warm, living body in his arms and kiss her. Well, maybe the karate-gi had already made him extra-eager, but gratitude made Ethan _extra-extra eager_. However, with the exception of that ultra-awesome impulsive make-out session (well, okay, more like a kissing session, to be exact), all Ethan typically did _in front of their friends_ was put his arm around Sarah. Amazingly, for the first few weeks, Sarah had to remind him that _even this_ was okay.

So, while Ethan sat with Benny and his grandmother, his mind turned to Sarah and how to go off with her alone. Likely a walk, or maybe a trip to get a hamburger . . . but the hamburger option meant Benny and Rory would tagalong, maybe even Erica. On the other hand, the burger idea meant Ethan could _seamlessly_ move from there into taking Sarah on a date in the mall, or a movie. The fact Ethan had already guzzled down pizza, nachos, chips, root beer, cookies and lemonade that day? It didn't phase him in the least.

That was Ethan's plan, to _smoothly_ ask Sarah for a burger in celebration of her yellow belt. Ethan had already texted her to meet him, Benny and Mrs. Weir on the back porch. But no sooner had Sarah come into the yard and said "Hi guys!" and Ethan was all set with his _smooth_ reply . . . than he was preempted by a "Whoa! What happened to you?" from Benny.

Ethan very reluctantly moved his eyes from the beaming Sarah to Rory. _What the frack had they done to him?_ Ouch. Rory's _Toonie Burn_ left him red with a obvious tan-line where his sunglasses had sat. That guy sometimes had the worst luck!

Ethan quickly took out his own _Toonie Tan_ coupon from his pocket, and ripped it into tiny pieces.

But, strange to say, Rory was smiling and gave them all a thumbs up.

"It's not as bad as it looks, guys" Rory explained. "For one thing, like Sarah reminded me, bloodsuckers can't get burns like this. Remember? They'd just burst into flames. So it's just another _exclusively_ human thing I did. A sucky thing, but, yeah, human! Plus in a few days, I get to do the only real cool thing about sunburns! Peel off all the dead, scaly skin!"

"Yeah, that's cool" admitted Ethan. "It's the only great part about sunburns."

"Gross!" Sarah exclaimed. "Tell me you don't really mean that, Ethan!"

"You tan great" Ethan said. "It's something you can only really appreciate if you're pasty, uh, I mean pale . . .

"Fair skinned" suggested Rory. "Yeah, fair skinned."

"When you burn like a marshmallow!" observed Benny, "For you two toasted marshmallows that's the only fun you get if you're out in the sun without slathering sunblock on yourselves."

"Well, guys" Sarah shrugged, "I have my sun-resistance back. Even if you two don't, thank goodness you're just pasty humans instead of vamps."

"You could put it that way, dear" observed Benny's grandmother with a wink at Ethan and Benny. "Thank goodness!"

Rory didn't know what to make of Evelyn's tone, so he just went on to explain what had happened at the _Econospa_. It turned out the _Toonie Tans_ were just a ploy to get people in the door and sign them up for expensive manicures, pedicures, and cucumber facials. Rory hadn't any use for that girly stuff, so he refused to sign anything and insisted on his two dollar tan. They put him under a tanning bed, looked up the instructions in a book, and set the timer. No supervision, nobody who even knew what they were doing! When the timer ran out, Rory was burned.

"I swear, Rory" Ethan said, "I saw you saying it was the smartest thing you've done in years!"

"It was, man" Rory said. "I'm going to be in the paper . . . with Sarah and Erica."

"What!" said Ethan and Benny.

For a minute, Ethan was jealous. Rory's picture in the newspaper with Sarah? What, was he envious of Rory now? Did he think Rory was trying to steal his girlfriend? Was he worried that people might think Sarah was Rory's girlfriend? Ah, come on! Relax, man! Ethan took a breath and listened to the story with a grin.

When Sarah saw what had happened to Rory, she was furious. Erica too, though she was mainly angry because _she_ might have been burned. The girls practically frogmarched Rory to the nearby offices of the _Whitechapel Bystander_ , where the editor was very interested in the story. He promised Rory front-page treatment in tomorrow's paper, and took a picture of the three to boot. Erica had very much wanted her picture in the paper, though to Rory's chagrin, had insisted Sarah appear too so nobody would get the impression she was dating Rory. Sarah, still happy after all these weeks to _even have her picture taken_ , obliged.

"Way'd it go, Rorster!" said Evelyn. "When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. But, dear, I'd be a bit more careful about placing my trust in people; even if you're only talking about a sun tan."

"Way ahead of you, Benny's grandma" said Rory, with a salute. Rory was in a saluting mood that day. "Rory Keaner's sunburned, still asthmatic, but alive and well and un-cursed, and he's going to stay that way!"

"Words to live by" joked Ethan.

"Where's Erica?" asked Benny.

"She dumped us for a newsboy" Rory said.

"Intern, Rory" corrected Sarah.

"Same difference" said Rory. "She's on a date with the guy now, trying to claim she was the driving force behind getting my story to the press."

"I can't wait to see it" said Ethan idly, though he immediately wished he hadn't said that. His increased seer powers were a _pain_ sometimes, at least until he could get them fully under control.

In Ethan's vision, tomorrow's edition of the _Whitechapel Bystander_ spun around like it had come straight out of an old black-and-white movie. When it stopped spinning, Ethan realized that Rory had made the bottom of the front page. "Teen Exposes Toonie Tan Scam" screamed the headline. And there was the sunburned Rory, with both thumbs up for the camera, standing between a smiling Sarah and a haughty Erica. The caption was something. Who the frack was responsible for that? "Rory Keaner (centre), _his girlfriend Erica_ (right), and good friend Sarah (left)."

It was lucky Erica was _also_ human once more, or else Rory wouldn't be "alive and well and un-cursed" when she saw that headline. Well, no, Rory wasn't going to get the blame! A young guy with a really lousy mustache at the _Bystander_ would get it. Ethan could see Erica yelling at the jerk and bringing him down with several well-aimed karate chops.

"What did you see?" asked Sarah. "Your eyes had that glow they usually get when you have a vision."  
"Tomorrow's paper" Ethan admitted. "I just want to know, who's responsible for arranging the articles in the paper? The editor?"

"The intern" said Sarah. "I don't know what Erica sees in that creep. It _can't_ be the mustache."

" _I guess her date's not going to go so well!_ " thought Ethan, but he said aloud, "I think you're going to like the article, Rory."

"No spoilers, dude!" Rory objected. "The Rorster will wait to see the paper when it comes out."

"It's just that you might want to lie low tomorrow" Ethan advised. "Nothing serious, just the sunburn" he lied.

"Okay, buddy" said Rory. "Just wanted to come over and see your new desk."

"We haven't put it together yet" admitted Ethan.

"It's, uh, back up in Ethan's attic" said Benny. "Maybe we'll try again tomorrow."

"You've got to be joking" said Sarah sarcastically, although she had been expecting something like this since she phoned Ethan early that morning. "Okay, my afternoon's free, Ethan! What's a girlfriend for but to get her boyfriend to stop dragging his feet?"

Well canoodling with, for one thing. Yet Ethan agreed to finish the desk anyways. Everything was better with Sarah, even a desk shipped assembly-required.

 **The End**


End file.
